jackalopes and Jesus
This guest blog post is from a friend of mine, Matthew Paul Turner. You can also find him over on twitter as, @JesusNeedsNewPR. He’s written a ton of awesome books and his new one, Hear No Evil, is no exception. He’s here to explain what extravaganza is goin down. Just check it folks.- Adam//
Greetings in the name of Amy Grant!
My name is Matthew Paul Turner, and I must say that it’s a sincere honor to be allowed to write a guest post here at jackalopekid.com.
A friend sent me the above picture. It was taken in the pastor’s office at a church he once worked at. And my guess it represents a close idea to what Adam’s office might look like. Honestly, I’m inclined to believe that everybody needs a stuffed jackalope head and a photo of Jesus in their office. The Apostle Paul was right: seeing really is believing.
Anyway, I realize you have no idea who I am. Of course, if you were able to see me right now, you’d probably notice my dark thick-rimmed glasses from Value Vision and my oversized Old Navy sweater and guess that I’m a writer with a Christian publishing deal.
Yeah, it’s that obvious.
Of course, I’m thankful for my publishing deal. Writing is my passion. And truthfully, being a Christian writer isn’t all that bad as long as you don’t mind strangers coming up to you and tell you how much free time they spent last month Googling your faith.
However, even though I resemble a writer with a Christian publishing deal, my new book—Hear No Evil: My Story of Innocence, Music, and the Holy Ghost—is not like a lot of the other books written by Christian writers.
For instance, purchasing my book will not cause you to receive any financial blessings from God. In fact, unless you borrow the book from a friend, check it out at the library, or get it by breaking one (or seven) of the Ten Commandments, reading my book is likely to make you $12 poorer, give or take $2 dollars.
And unfortunately, if you are kind enough to become poorer on my behalf, I’m not able to afford to send you a gift like a gold holy water necklace or a patriotic plaque, and yes, that’s true even if you buy within the next 30 minutes. I know; a gold holy water necklace would be totally awesome. However, for what it’s worth, I did have a friend tell me that my book made a fantastic companion guide to the Book of Ezekiel.
Also, it’s safe to say that if you’re a fan of spiritual guilt, Ends Times prophecy, or enjoy being “set on fire by God,” you probably shouldn’t buy my book.
Perhaps you’re thinking: who should buy Hear No Evil? Well, here’s a partial list of people whom I believe will think my book is totally awesome.
- Every former member of Michael W. Smith’s fan club!
- All 27 individuals who once dreamed of becoming the “Michael Jackson of Christian music”—You guys will love it!
- If you’ve ever been persecuted because of your faith in the music of Sandi Patty.
- Anybody who has ever converted to Presbyterianism because of peer pressure.
- All Amy Grant fanatics will want to give this book as Christmas gifts!
- People who are familiar with the term “back masking.”
- If prior to 1995 you believed that Ozzy Osbourne was a demon.
- If you’ve ever had a crush on Leigh Nash or Clay Cross (either or both)…
- And lastly, anybody who is willing to confess that, at some point in their lives, a Christian pop song made him or her feel cool…
(Yes. I see that hand).
As you can see, my new book is for lots of people.
But thankfully, ten of you won’t have to buy Hear No Evil, because on February 16, jackalopekid.com will be giving away TEN COPIES!
Don’t just sit there staring at your computer—go share the Good News with your friends on Facebook, and make sure everybody in Judea and Samaria know about it, too.
Thanks for wasting a part of your day with me.
Love in Amy,
Matthew
PS: It just dawned on me that, if you purchased a whole bunch of copies of Hear No Evil at cost and sold them for profit to all of your friends, then there’s a decent chance that “buying my book would make you rich” (and I’d be rich too!).
For all you Amy fans, that’s doubly good.
//
Wow, with 10 copies being given away, you’ve got a pretty good chance of winning. So, here’s the deal- All you have to do is tell me your favorite movie you’ve ever seen to win one of the 10 copies of “Hear No Evil” by Matthew Paul Turner. Contest will end at 11:59pm on Thursday, February 18th. All winners will be selected at random. It’s just that simple. Go.
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